A Double Edged Sword

Don’t we all have to admit it; that we as photographers or creative persons of some form—at least to some extent—all crave for recognition, one way or another, whether we are professionals or pure amateurs? But don’t we all also know that recognition is a double edged sword? On one hand, yes, it’s nice to get recognized for the work we do, for our effort, but the flip side of the coin is when recognition becomes the driving force for our creativity. Then we stand to lose it, the uniqueness of our vision and expression.

What one day may lead to recognition is ignoring what makes us crave it. That’s the only way we can create from our heart. Without heart and without ourselves invested in our creative work, it only becomes an act of deceit and thus has no artistic or creative value.

What do we actually take for recognition? Money? Fame? Both—when talking about creativity—are black holes that easily destroy us and the uniqueness that sets us apart as artists. Being true to our inner artist may, if we are lucky, result in work that sells or gain recognition—but often not. If money determinates what is good art, neither Paul Gaugain nor Vincent van Gogh were artists worth our attention. But despite lack of recognition, fame and money in their time, they kept doing what they felt they were meant to do. Their creativity flourished and had to be expressed, it wasn’t depending upon recognition.

Only by doing what comes from inside of us, without second thoughts to money or fame, may we be true artists, be true to ourselves. It doesn’t matter if we are professionals or amateurs. Still the professional is often caught up in the money-game since after all he or she is making a living out of a creative field. Thus for them it’s even more important to protect their own integrity and their inner artist.

Often enough I may have to make my editors happy by doing what they want me to do, but still I try to bring my own vision into the equation. Sometimes it won’t work, but then I can always fall back on my own personal projects in which I only answer to myself. And even if amateurs don’t create for money, they can still fall into the trap of recognition and fame. We all want it—in one way or another, no?

As Julia Cameron writes in her book The Artist’s Way: «I must learn that as an artist my credibility lies with me, God, and my work. In other words, if I have a poem to write, I need to write that poem—whether it will sell or not. I need to create what wants to be created.»

The same goes for photographers. Our vision needs to be expressed, whether the pictures sell or not, whether they will bring us fame or not. The joy is really to feel how our vision—our true creativity—becomes reality, becomes expressed. That is the biggest fulfilment, the ultimate satisfaction. The creative process in itself is what makes it exciting. Let’s not confuse it with money or fame. Let’s not slip into the black whole of vanity.

Facing up to Yourself

Have you ever tried to make self-portraits? It can be a scary experience. And it can very much be a revealing experience. Not just pointing a camera or a cell phone at yourself, but trying to capture something that says some truth about who you are, that maybe even uncover something about yourself that you hardly knew about—that is what makes self-portraits so challenging. Self-portraits can be a way of revealing your inner character, which is a way of exposing yourself, and thus such a difficult task to take on.

Paradoxically enough, must of us are happy making selfies these days, and for some reasons those kinds of self-portraits are not at all challenging to make. Apparently at least. Maybe because it’s a less pretentious way of making self-portraits—or so we think—and maybe because it’s generally accepted as a way of expression ourselves these days. But as soon as we start making self-portraits with more depth to them, it becomes a complete different ball game.

Back when I studied photography, one of the first assignments was making self-portraits. It was maybe the hardest assignment I got through the whole study, at least for me, then. And I know from workshops I teach that many students really have a hard time with self-portraits. These days I am teaching another round of my e-workshop «Finding Your Photographic Voice», and this week one of the assignments is exactly making telling self-portraits. I know from previous rounds that this can be one of the most challenging assignments.

There is a sense of self-indulgence and even vanity related to taking self-portraits. Of course, making self-portraits can indeed be self-absorbing and self-centred. But it’s also a way to explore and find out more about yourself. It can be in fact a way of dealing with something you are struggling with, finding a way out of some challenges you are facing and even coping with grieves that otherwise leaves you chattered. Look at Sarah Treanor’s blog 12 Months of Creativity and her touching way of using self-portraits to come to ends with a tragic incident in her life.

Another example of the healing and understanding that may come with the process of making self-portrait is expressed in the book The Photographers Playbook. The photographer and teacher Janet Delaney writes about the response from one of her students: «I had been in an awful, long-term relationship with an emotionally controlling, manipulating son of a bitch. I was not able to find strength to realize how miserable I was, I was stuck. […] I tried to express in those photos something that went between being trapped, being helpless, being knowing, powerful, stuck, tangled, engaged. […] And that broke the spell. I saw what he was and I had become before him. And I left him. That assignment, those photos, gave me a hard look at myself, and I haven’t been the same since.»

There is a risk and fear of self-exploration when making self-portraits. The photographer is in a very vulnerable position of opening up and stating how he or she is, but that is also what makes the self-portrait such a strong and universal—beyond the mere self—expression. Turning the camera on to the photographer involves challenges of its own, that doesn’t exist within the ordinary reference of portraiture—the photographer becomes his or her own sitter, and unless a cell phone is the camera or a mirror is used to check the pose, the moment recorded is only «felt» rather than seen through the camera. To photograph yourself, you have to stand in front of the camera and not behind it. The camera confronts the photographer rather than separates the photographer from the subject.

Making self-portraits are indeed challenging. But when pursued with an earnest intent, it’s also very rewarding. Any photo you take or make is a mirror of yourself, in some way or another it reflects who your. A self-portrait does so even more directly and openly. Yet, it may be just as intangibly revealing, uncover more subtle and more hidden characters of yourself. That’s part of the reward, if you are willing to take the chance. The hard part is getting in front of that camera and let yourself reveal who you are. Most of us feel uncomfortable in front of the camera, and more so in front of our own camera. In a Ted-talk conducted some time ago, the photographer Peter Hurley and the psychologist Anna Rowley brings up thoughts about why this is so uncomfortable. It’s worth a look.

As mentioned, one of this week’s assignments in the e-workshop «Finding Your Photographic Voice» is making self-portraits. As a general rule I like to let my students do assignments or exercises I have already done myself. I have indeed made self-portraits many a time since I was first challenged back when I studied photography. Nevertheless over the last year I have challenged myself on a regular basis to make self-portraits, some of which I present in this post.

Have you turned the camera towards yourself to learn and shown who you are—or would be willing to give it a try?

A Double Edged Sword

Don’t we all have to admit it; that we as photographers or creative persons of some form – at least to some extent – all crave for recognition, one way or another, whether we are professionals or pure amateurs? But don’t we all also know that recognition is a double edged sword? On one hand, yes, it’s nice to get recognized for the work we do, for our effort, but the flip side of the coin is when recognition becomes the driving force for our creativity. Then we stand to lose it, the uniqueness of our vision and expression. What one day may lead to recognition is ignoring what makes us crave it. That’s the only way we can create from our heart. Without heart and without ourselves invested in our creative work, it only becomes an act of deceit and thus has no artistic or creative value.

What do we actually take for recognition? Money? Fame? Both – when talking about creativity – are black holes that easily destroy us and the uniqueness that sets us apart as artists. Being true to our inner artist may, if we are lucky, result in work that sells or gain recognition – but often not. If money determinates what is good art, neither Paul Gaugain nor Vincent van Gogh were artists worth our attention. But despite lack of recognition, fame and money in their time, they kept doing what they felt they were meant to do. Their creativity flourished and had to be expressed, it wasn’t depending upon recognition. Only by doing what comes from inside of us, without second thoughts to money or fame, may we be true artists, be true to ourselves. It doesn’t matter if we are professionals or amateurs. Still the professional is often caught up in the money-game since after all he or she is making a living out of a creative field. Thus for them it’s even more important to protect their own integrity and their inner artist. Often enough I may have to make my editors happy by doing what they want me to do, but still I try to bring my own vision into the equation. Sometimes it won’t work, but then I can always fall back on my own personal projects in which I only answer to myself. And even if amateurs don’t create for money, they can still fall into the trap of recognition and fame. We all want it – in one way or another, no?

As Julia Cameron writes in her book The Artist’s Way: «I must learn that as an artist my credibility lies with me, God, and my work. In other words, if I have a poem to write, I need to write that poem – whether it will sell or not. I need to create what wants to be created.»

The same goes for photographers. Our vision needs to be expressed, whether it sells as pictures or not, whether it will bring us fame or not. The joy is really to feel how our vision – our true creativity – becomes reality, becomes expressed. That is the biggest fulfilment, the ultimate satisfaction. The creative process in itself it what makes it exciting. Let’s not confuse it with money or fame. Let’s not slip into the black whole of vanity.

Look at Yourself

© Nancy de Flon

© Ingunn Nesset

© Helen Chen

© Mike Mills

© Jennifer Clark

To make self-portraits is an excellent exercise for any photographer – but maybe also one of the most challenging to do. I am not talking about easy and casual selfies – which most everybody takes these days. But to try to portrait yourself with honesty, trying to capture the true self and revealing your deepest emotions – that take both surmounting and courage.

In my eWorkshop «Finding Your Photographic Voice», making self-portraits is one of the assignments I give my students – and maybe for many one of the hardest. Nevertheless – and often despite some reluctance initially – I always find that the students come up with both creative and revealing images. Just look at the ones showcased here, taken by participants of my latest round of the eWorkshop. Aren’t they just that; honest, revealing and creative? It’s always interesting to see how everybody comes up with different solutions, even those who initially hate the thought of taking self-portrait.

I have taken self-portrait myself – and know how excruciating exposed (literally and of course more importantly; in a figurative sense of the word) one feels in the process. For me it’s always important not to ask of anybody else what I won’t do myself. With that in mind – and even though I have previously made self-portraits – I have started a new project. Over the next year the plan is to make one self-portrait a week. I know some weeks I won’t find the time, but hopefully by the end of the year, I will at least have some 30-35 images. Maybe something for you to try as well?

From One Workshop to Another

© Monica Engell

© Lynne Hayes

© Angeline Munoz

© Anita Otrebski

© Christopher O’Keefe

Teaching workshops are one of the things I enjoy most besides actually taking photos. It’s always fun to meet other photographers – whether professionals or amateurs – and experience how they see the world through their cameras. We all have different approaches, and what is really inspiring for me personally is the fact that I learn just as much as I hope the participants do in my workshops. That’s really the big drive in these workshops; this reciprocal exchange between fellow human beings with photography as a common denominator.

Today I am starting a complete new workshop in the small town of Villajoyosa in Spain. I think it’s going to be great fun – at least I see I have an excellent and interesting group of participants. Over the next five days I am sure they will put a mark on the local community by exploring the small town situated on Costa Blanca, Spain with their cameras. And by the end of the week they will have produced a coherent body of work that shows the variety of life as it is in Villajoyosa

Just before going to Villajoyosa I finished another great teaching experience, my newly developed eWorkshop. Over the last eight weeks participants from all over the world from Singapore, to Norway, to UK, to USA have been doing some great work within the framework of this new workshop of mine. It was a different experience but I think we all enjoyed it very much. At least from my perspective as the teacher I have sincerely enjoyed watching all of them develop their vision and photography from wherever they came from. As part of the workshop the participants were shooting a personal project, and when I did the final edit of these projects last week I was indeed very impressed by the quality they were all able to present. Over the next couple of months I would like to showcase their first-rate work here on my blog.

In the meantime I am pleased to present some other work of theirs. Another assignment in this workshop was to do a series of self-portraits. My experience – and the feedback from the participants said so too – is that this is a very challenging assignment. Photographers like to photograph others, but don’t much like to be standing on the other side of the lens. Exactly for that reason I think doing self-portraits is a very useful and educational task for any photographer. Particularly when you have to show the final results to somebody you don’t know. The thing is when a photographer goes to the task with intent; it is a very revealing process – as I think the participants of my eWorkshop experienced. And again I was really impressed with the result. The photos accompanying this post are all self-portrait captured by the participants of the eWorkshop. Don’t you think they did a great job? How would you have done it if you were to take a self-portrait?

© Andrea Cochran-Pastel

© Susan Judd

© Dalia Daud

© Linda Paul