I want to address something I wrote about in my last Sideways newsletter. Doubt is an element that always accompanies photography, I wrote. Doubt—not only in photography but in any creative endeavour—leads to fear; fear of rejections (which I addressed in my previous blog post), but also, and not the least, fear of failure.
Doubt is particularly ominous when you explore unknown territory, when you try to create something new, venture out of the box. Then you are operating outside of your comfort zone—which, by nature, opens up for uncertainty. And then to doubt; one often leads to the next.
Sometimes uncertainty can push you further, because it makes you alert, more agile and activates you. However, if it turns into doubt it can do the opposite. Doubt can paralyze. Doubt can stop all creativity. Because you fear you might fail.
Here is the thing, though. When you move out of the box, you try something you haven’t done before. One goes with the other. And when you attempt something to which you have no clue, you will inevitably fail.
But so what? What if you fail? What if you put in your best effort and your fail? Is it going to be the end of everything for you?
If there is one thing I can say with certainty, it’s that you will with absolute certainty fail. It’s unavoidable. But think about it this way: the only way you succeed is by failing. The only path to success is through failure. Remember failure is not who you are, it’s not you. Failing doesn’t make you a failure. Also remember that we all fail when we try something new (and other times as well). It doesn’t make it any easier, but maybe it can be of some consolation.
The only way not to fail, is not to try—and then you truly fail. So fail, before you get it right. Learning by doing. As long as you do. Here is a quote of unknown origin that emphasizes this: “I’m not a failure if I don’t make it… I’m a success because I tried.”
If you can approach failure as a first stepping stone for learning, then suddenly it’s not a failure any more. When a baby learns to walk, it falls down time and again. No baby ever just starts walking. The writer Samuel Beckett said: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” The path to success, to new creative discoveries, is littered with failure. Failure after failure after failure.
So embrace failure. And ask how do I move forward from here? What can I learn?
In that perspective you can also use doubt as a positive measurement. It’s simply indicating that you are on a new and untried path; the only path that will develop your creative work.
In mid September I visited Bucharest in Romania. The trip was a continuation of a photo project I have been working on, together with two other photographers, in Naples. This time I wanted to do something different. I wanted to push myself onto thin ice, find a different approach, a new way of photographing. The intention was to develop my photography in some untried direction. I didn’t quite know in which direction I wanted to go, but let myself be guided by intuition, instinct and impulses. And my doubt.
From day one, I was swept over by doubt. I felt that I did not capture a single image that said anything about living in Bucharest, about relational aspects, about being human in general or, for that matter, about Bucharest as a city. The pictures felt irrelevant. I felt I was failing.
I didn’t give up, though. If I wanted to develop my photography there was only one way forward. Daring to stay with it, the doubt. And of course, eventually I captured some images I am content with. Nevertheless, I am disappointed, I can say that much, but, at the end of the day, what is important to me, is that I initiated a process in Bucharest. It’s a process that I will continue—if still ever so much in doubt. I know it’s the only way if I don’t want to stagnate.
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In Flow with Otto 